{"id":2362,"date":"2021-06-09T03:48:15","date_gmt":"2021-06-09T01:48:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/?p=2362"},"modified":"2021-06-09T03:48:15","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T01:48:15","slug":"nevime-jak-to-bylo-s-dominikem-ferim-a-zenami-v-jeho-okoli-co-by-mely-mlade-damy-vedet-o-sexualnich-utocich","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/2021\/06\/09\/nevime-jak-to-bylo-s-dominikem-ferim-a-zenami-v-jeho-okoli-co-by-mely-mlade-damy-vedet-o-sexualnich-utocich\/","title":{"rendered":"Nev\u00edme, jak to bylo s Dominikem Ferim a \u017eenami v jeho okol\u00ed… Co by m\u011bly mlad\u00e9 d\u00e1my v\u011bd\u011bt o sexu\u00e1ln\u00edch \u00fatoc\u00edch"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Nev\u00edme, jak to bylo s Dominikem Ferim a \u017eenami v jeho okol\u00ed. Zcela jist\u011b ale v\u00edme, \u017ee padla iluze o bezpe\u010dn\u00e9m prost\u0159ed\u00ed. Zneu\u017e\u00edv\u00e1n\u00ed nebo dokonce zn\u00e1sil\u0148ov\u00e1n\u00ed prob\u00edhalo p\u0159\u00edmo v epicentru politick\u00e9 korektnost, p\u00ed\u0161e v koment\u00e1\u0159i pro Prvnizpravy.cz Petr Hampl.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stejn\u011b jako p\u0159ed p\u00e1r lety v anticiviliza\u010dn\u00edm centru Klinika, mezi p\u0159edn\u00e1\u0161kami o toxick\u00e9 maskulinit\u011b.<\/p>\n

Ukazuje to, \u017ee a\u0165 zavedete sebev\u00edc pravidel a sebed\u016fsledn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed syst\u00e9m hl\u00edd\u00e1n\u00ed, k vytvo\u0159en\u00ed bezpe\u010dn\u00e9ho prost\u0159ed\u00ed to nepovede. I kdyby byli v\u0161ichni b\u00edl\u00ed mu\u017ei vykastrov\u00e1ni (co\u017e je varianta nepravd\u011bpodobn\u00e1, nicm\u00e9n\u011b dnes u\u017e mysliteln\u00e1), budou se dal\u0161\u00ed pohlav\u00ed obt\u011b\u017eovat a zn\u00e1sil\u0148ovat mezi sebou. V prost\u0159ed\u00ed, kde na to potenci\u00e1ln\u00ed ob\u011bti absolutn\u011b nejsou p\u0159ipraveny, a kde v\u0161e pro\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed mnohem pal\u010div\u011bji. Dost mo\u017en\u00e1, \u017ee dne\u0161n\u00ed politicky-korektn\u00ed aktivistka, kter\u00e1 uvid\u00ed obr\u00e1zek p\u00e1nsk\u00e9ho p\u0159irozen\u00ed, utrp\u00ed v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed psychick\u00fd ot\u0159es ne\u017e jej\u00ed vesnick\u00e1 prababi\u010dka, kter\u00e1 musela podr\u017eet sedl\u00e1kovi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ve skute\u010dnosti ale bezpe\u010dn\u00e1 prost\u0159ed\u00ed existuj\u00ed. A m\u016f\u017ee v nich b\u00fdt prostor pro erotick\u00e9 jisk\u0159en\u00ed a dvousmysln\u00e9 pozn\u00e1mky. P\u0159esto sexu\u00e1ln\u00ed n\u00e1sil\u00ed v\u016fbec nep\u0159ipad\u00e1 v \u00favahu. Co takov\u00e1 prost\u0159ed\u00ed vytv\u00e1\u0159\u00ed? Chov\u00e1n\u00ed \u017een.<\/p>\n

Ekonom Marek Lou\u017eek to u\u017e p\u0159ed lety formuloval tak, \u017ee \u201estr\u00e1\u017ekyn\u00ed mravnosti je v\u017edy \u017eena.\u201c Ve v\u0161ech dob\u00e1ch a v naprost\u00e9 v\u011bt\u0161ina zn\u00e1m\u00fdch kultur. \u017deny ur\u010duj\u00ed, jestli se bude se sexem \u010dekat a\u017e do svatby. \u017deny ur\u010duj\u00ed, jak\u00e9 praktiky jsou p\u0159ijateln\u00e9. Jestli existuj\u00ed instituce jako \u201evztah na jednu noc.\u201c Na nich je, co bude pokl\u00e1d\u00e1no za romantick\u00e9 sv\u00e1d\u011bn\u00ed a co u\u017e za odporn\u00e9 obt\u011b\u017eov\u00e1n\u00ed. Des\u00edtky v\u00fdzkum\u016f z r\u016fzn\u00fdch zem\u00ed ten obraz potvrzuj\u00ed (z\u00e1jemce o podrobn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed studium odkazuji na knihu Moc kr\u00e1sy).<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bezpe\u010dn\u00e1 prost\u0159ed\u00ed jsou takov\u00e1, kde jsou \u017eeny sebev\u011bdom\u00e9 a nenechaj\u00ed si nic l\u00edbit. A kde um\u00ed zach\u00e1zet s o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edmi mu\u017e\u016f. Kdy\u017e takovou atmosf\u00e9ru vytvo\u0159\u00ed (a kdy\u017e trvaj\u00ed na sv\u00e9m), mu\u017ei se pod\u0159\u00edd\u00ed. S\u00e1m jsem m\u011bl to \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed, \u017ee jsem v takov\u00fdch prost\u0159ed\u00edch str\u00e1vil naprostou v\u011bt\u0161inu dosavadn\u00edho \u017eivota. V takov\u00fdch prost\u0159ed\u00edch je i dost prostoru pro erotick\u00e9 jisk\u0159en\u00ed, proto\u017ee v\u0161ichni \u00fa\u010dastn\u00edci si p\u0159ipadaj\u00ed naprosto bezpe\u010dn\u011b.<\/p>\n

Chce-li n\u011bkdo vytv\u00e1\u0159et bezpe\u010dn\u00e9 prost\u0159ed\u00ed, nech\u0165 znovu nau\u010d\u00ed \u017eeny to, co p\u0159edch\u00e1zej\u00edc\u00ed generace (v\u010detn\u011b dne\u0161n\u00ed st\u0159edn\u00ed generace) zvl\u00e1daly a o \u010dem tak \u010dasto hovo\u0159\u00ed t\u0159eba doktorka Kov\u00e1\u0159ov\u00e1. Ono i tak \u010das od \u010dasu dojde k n\u011bjak\u00e9mu p\u0159ekro\u010den\u00ed hranic, ale ty p\u0159\u00edpady budou pom\u011brn\u011b vz\u00e1cn\u00e9 a \u00fato\u010dn\u00edci dostanou rychlou zp\u011btnou vazbu, \u017ee tudy cesta nevede.<\/p>\n

Za prv\u00e9.<\/strong>\u00a0D\u00edvka by m\u011bla v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee mu\u017ei (a zvl\u00e1\u0161t\u011b mlad\u00ed mu\u017ei) mohou b\u00fdt nebezpe\u010dn\u00ed, mohou b\u00fdt agresivn\u00ed a v n\u011bkter\u00fdch situac\u00edch \u0161patn\u011b zvl\u00e1daj\u00ed sami sebe.<\/p>\n

Za druh\u00e9<\/strong>. D\u00edvka by m\u011bla v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee mu\u017ei se p\u0159esto daj\u00ed ovl\u00e1dat, a \u017ee sexualita je n\u011bco, co \u017een\u00e1m poskytuje p\u0159evahu. To, \u017ee jsou \u017eenami, je jejich zdrojem moci. Distingovan\u00e1 Angli\u010danka profesorka Hakimov\u00e1 to kdysi ve sv\u00e9 pra\u017esk\u00e9 p\u0159edn\u00e1\u0161ce formulovala takto: \u201eVa\u0161i mu\u017e\u0161t\u00ed kolegov\u00e9 jsou agresivn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed a \u010dasto c\u00edlev\u011bdom\u011bj\u0161\u00ed. Ale vy si m\u016f\u017eete rozepnout knofl\u00edk u bl\u016fzi\u010dky. Je to va\u0161e p\u0159irozen\u00e1 v\u00fdhoda. Nezdr\u00e1hejte se ji pou\u017e\u00edvat.\u201c D\u00edvka by m\u011bla tak\u00e9 v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee hra s nazna\u010dov\u00e1n\u00edm a o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm j\u00ed p\u0159inese v\u00edce v\u00fdhod ne\u017e p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9 poskytnut\u00ed. A je v jej\u00edm z\u00e1jmu, aby tu hru zvl\u00e1dala.<\/p>\n

Za t\u0159et\u00ed.<\/strong>\u00a0D\u00edvka by m\u011bla um\u011bt razantn\u011b odm\u00edtat. Ukon\u010dit debatu nebo situaci, kter\u00e1 by potenci\u00e1ln\u011b mohla v\u00e9st k n\u011b\u010demu intimn\u011bj\u0161\u00edmu, ne\u017e chce. M\u011bla by pokl\u00e1dat za samoz\u0159ejm\u00e9, \u017ee ona si vyb\u00edr\u00e1, \u017ee a m\u00e1 pr\u00e1vo reagovat velmi nep\u0159\u00e1telsky nebo dokonce n\u00e1siln\u011b, pokud se mu\u017e p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed k \u010derven\u00e9 \u010d\u00e1\u0159e. A z\u00e1rove\u0148 vys\u00edlat jasn\u00e9 sign\u00e1ly, pokud se k t\u00e9 \u010d\u00e1\u0159e p\u0159ibl\u00ed\u017eit nechce.<\/p>\n

\u201eJednou ze soci\u00e1ln\u00edch dovednost\u00ed, kter\u00e9 si jak chlapec, tak d\u00edvka b\u011bhem dosp\u00edv\u00e1n\u00ed mus\u00ed osvojit, je nau\u010dit se rozpoznat situaci a vn\u00edmat rozd\u00edl mezi p\u0159\u00e1telskou a erotickou komunikac\u00ed,\u201c\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>formulovala to v\u010dera Eva Svobodov\u00e1. Zcela v\u00fdsti\u017en\u011b.<\/p>\n

P\u0159ed mnoha lety jsme se s mou tehdej\u0161\u00ed \u0161\u00e9fovou vraceli ze setk\u00e1n\u00ed se zahrani\u010dn\u00edm investorem, bylo u\u017e v\u00fdrazn\u011b po p\u016flnoci, byli jsme vy\u010derpan\u00ed, a \u0161\u00e9fov\u00e1 mi nab\u00eddla, \u017ee mohu p\u0159espat v jej\u00edm byt\u011b. Kdy\u017e jsem s vd\u011b\u010dnost\u00ed p\u0159ijal, dodala jasn\u00e9 \u201eale sex v \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e9m p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b nebude!\u201c\u00a0 Tak m\u00e1 vypadat pr\u00e1ce s o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm. Inteligentn\u00ed \u017eena se vyhnula p\u0159\u00edpadn\u00e9mu vzniku nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9 situace.<\/p>\n

Za \u010dtvrt\u00e9.<\/strong>\u00a0To v\u0161echno m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt p\u0159irozen\u00e9 a z\u00e1bavn\u00e9, pokud v\u00edte, jak s t\u00edm zach\u00e1zet. I to pat\u0159\u00ed k tomu, \u017ee si lid\u00e9 u\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed \u017eivota.<\/p>\n

Za p\u00e1t\u00e9<\/strong>. Mlad\u00e1 d\u00e1ma by m\u011bla v\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee ka\u017ed\u00e1 spole\u010densk\u00e1 vrstva m\u00e1 sv\u00e9 zvyklosti, a \u017ee jejich p\u0159ekra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt nebezpe\u010dn\u00e9. Sign\u00e1ly, kter\u00e9 lid\u00e9 vys\u00edlaj\u00ed sv\u00fdm chov\u00e1n\u00edm, mohou b\u00fdt ch\u00e1p\u00e1ny \u00fapln\u011b jinak. Pokud se studentka humanitn\u00edch studi\u00ed rozhodne p\u0159espat na d\u011blnick\u00e9 ubytovn\u011b nebo dokonce v cik\u00e1nsk\u00e9 osad\u011b, m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt velmi nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u011b p\u0159ekvapena.<\/p>\n

Za sebe bych dodal je\u0161t\u011b sport, a zejm\u00e9na bojov\u00e9 sporty. Ne, \u017ee by m\u011bla d\u00edvka proti ka\u017ed\u00e9mu ne\u017e\u00e1dan\u00e9mu n\u00e1padn\u00edkovi uplatnit karate. Ale ten z\u00e1\u017eitek z tr\u00e9ninku, \u017ee se d\u00e1 pra\u0161tit i do chlapa o t\u0159icet kilo t\u011b\u017e\u0161\u00edho, ten je k nezaplacen\u00ed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mu\u017ei maj\u00ed takov\u00fdm \u017een\u00e1m poskytovat podporu, co\u017e jim zpravidla nen\u00ed nijak zat\u011b\u017eko. Maj\u00ed chr\u00e1nit p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm ty nedosp\u011bl\u00e9, dokud jsou bezbrann\u00e9, a dokud se nenau\u010d\u00ed pot\u0159ebn\u00fdm soci\u00e1ln\u00edm dovednostem. Nen\u00ed n\u00e1hoda, \u017ee v\u011bt\u0161ina ob\u011bt\u00ed sexu\u00e1ln\u00edch \u00fatok\u016f jsou mlad\u00e9 a nezku\u0161en\u00e9, a je naprosto spr\u00e1vn\u00e9, \u017ee je z\u00e1kon chr\u00e1n\u00ed mnohem siln\u011bji. Ty opravdu dosp\u011bl\u00e9 se o sebe postaraj\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Ostatn\u011b, ono to tak v n\u011bkter\u00fdch spole\u010densk\u00fdch vrstv\u00e1ch u\u017e funguje. Kdyby to mlad\u00fd nad\u011bjn\u00fd politik zkusil na u\u010dnici, kter\u00e1 m\u00e1 za sebou n\u011bkolik venkovsk\u00fdch tancova\u010dek, dost mo\u017en\u00e1, \u017ee by s traumatem odch\u00e1zel on. A kdyby to zkusil na jej\u00ed maminku\u2026<\/p>\n

Jen\u017ee sv\u011bt siln\u00fdch a sebev\u011bdom\u00fdch lid\u00ed, kte\u0159\u00ed se o sebe um\u00ed postarat, ten by nepot\u0159eboval komise, ak\u010dn\u00ed v\u00fdbory a granty. A \u010d\u00edm by se to aktivistvo \u017eivilo?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Petr Hampl, nez\u00e1visl\u00fd sociolog<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nev\u00edme, jak to bylo s Dominikem Ferim a \u017eenami v jeho okol\u00ed. Zcela jist\u011b ale…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2363,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[427,29,574,239],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2362"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2362\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}