{"id":13038,"date":"2022-08-02T00:59:41","date_gmt":"2022-08-01T22:59:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/?p=13038"},"modified":"2022-08-02T02:30:22","modified_gmt":"2022-08-02T00:30:22","slug":"nedelnik-adama-b-bartose-95-o-kyselych-okurkach-a-nejen-o-tech","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/2022\/08\/02\/nedelnik-adama-b-bartose-95-o-kyselych-okurkach-a-nejen-o-tech\/","title":{"rendered":"NED\u011aLN\u00cdK ADAMA B. BARTO\u0160E (95): O KYSEL\u00ddCH OKURK\u00c1CH A NEJEN O T\u011aCH"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Toto l\u00e9to nen\u00ed o zpr\u00e1vy nouze, tak\u017ee \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 okurkov\u00e1 sez\u00f3na nehroz\u00ed. Zu\u0159\u00ed v\u00e1lka, inflace, po\u017e\u00e1r v H\u0159ensku a opi\u010d\u00ed ne\u0161tovice. Ps\u00e1t o nev\u00e1\u017en\u00fdch v\u011bcech se proto m\u016f\u017ee zd\u00e1t b\u00fdt trochu lehkomysln\u00e9. Ale snad si to mohu dovolit alespo\u0148 te\u010f o pr\u00e1zdnin\u00e1ch. V\u017edy\u0165 jsem se v\u00e1s b\u011bhem roku nastra\u0161il u\u017e dost \u2013 covidem, Fialou, drahotou a v\u0161elijak\u00fdmi nesvobodami. Snad \u017e\u00e1dn\u00fd m\u016fj ned\u011bln\u00edk nen\u00ed prost n\u011bjak\u00fdch hrozn\u00fdch zpr\u00e1v, z\u00e1va\u017en\u00fdch ud\u00e1losti a v\u00e1\u017en\u00fdch \u00favah \u2013 proto tedy dnes tak trochu netradi\u010dn\u011b. A nev\u00e1\u017en\u011b. Zkr\u00e1tka okurkov\u011b.<\/span><\/p>\n

A tady je\u00a0prvn\u00ed nakl\u00e1da\u010dka<\/strong>.\u00a0Zeman je zase \u017didem<\/strong><\/em><\/a>. Ned\u00e1 mi to, abych to neokomentoval, proto\u017ee \u017ee je Zeman \u017didem, to v\u00edme u\u017e od roku 2015,\u00a0kdy to vy\u0159kl poprv\u00e9<\/strong><\/em><\/a>. Pro\u010d m\u00e1 ale pot\u0159ebu to \u0159\u00edkat znovu? Jist\u011b, je to origin\u00e1ln\u00ed politick\u00e9 provol\u00e1n\u00ed (i kdy\u017e origin\u00e1ln\u00ed zas a\u017e tak ne \u2013 je to vlastn\u011b jen parafr\u00e1ze Kennedyho v\u00fdroku o tom, \u017ee je Berl\u00ed\u0148an), ale p\u0159i prvn\u00edm Zemanov\u011b pou\u017eit\u00ed se to za dobr\u00fd bonmot ozna\u010dit dalo. Kdekter\u00fd havlistick\u00fd politik si asi v tu chv\u00edli trhal vlasy, \u017ee ho to nenapadlo prvn\u00edho. Ale se Zemanem se v bonmotech ned\u00e1 soupe\u0159it. Proto pon\u011bkud p\u0159ekvapuje, \u017ee p\u0159i \u010dervencov\u00e9 n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bv\u011b izraelsk\u00e9ho prezidenta Jicchaka Herzoga nevymyslel nic nov\u00e9ho a pou\u017eil u\u017e toto ot\u0159epan\u00e9 kli\u0161\u00e9. Podruh\u00e9 to u\u017e tolik nep\u016fsob\u00ed, ba sp\u00ed\u0161e naopak \u2013 mohli bychom si myslet, \u017ee to u\u017e Milo\u0161ovi tolik nep\u00e1l\u00ed, nemysl\u00ed. T\u0159eba zapomn\u011bl, \u017ee u\u017e to pou\u017eil a cht\u011bl t\u00edm p\u0159ekvapit, ale nevy\u0161lo to. Sta\u0159eck\u00e1 demence? Biden pod\u00e1v\u00e1 ruku neviditeln\u00fdm entit\u00e1m a \u010desk\u00fd prezident st\u00e1le prohla\u0161uje, \u017ee je \u017didem. No nic. Ale nakl\u00e1da\u010dka je to dobr\u00e1. Je to dob\u0159e nalo\u017een\u00e9 \u2013 nebo ule\u017eel\u00e9? Minim\u00e1ln\u011b u\u017e pr\u00e1v\u011b t\u011bch 7 let, co ty dva identick\u00e9 v\u00fdroky d\u011bl\u00ed. A co si budeme \u0159\u00edkat, Izraelc\u016fm tyhle nakl\u00e1da\u010dky chutnaj\u00ed. Ostatn\u011b, i s\u00e1m izraelsk\u00fd prezident je dob\u0159e nalo\u017een\u00fd \u2013 pokud v\u00e1m jm\u00e9no Herzog zn\u00ed pov\u011bdom\u011b, nem\u00fdl\u00edte se. Prezidentem Izraele byl toti\u017e i jeho tat\u00edk, Chajim Herzog, a to v letech 1983-1993. I Izraelci maj\u00ed dobr\u00e9 okurky\u2026<\/p>\n

Druh\u00e1\u00a0nakl\u00e1da\u010dka<\/strong>\u00a0je v sladkokysel\u00e9m n\u00e1levu. A vypad\u00e1 to na spiknut\u00ed, proto\u017ee je to a\u017e moc n\u00e1hod \u2013 pova\u017ete sami. Jen o 11 dn\u00ed d\u0159\u00edve, ne\u017e se Zeman prohl\u00e1sil za \u017dida, se v \u010desk\u00e9m Sen\u00e1tu tchajwansk\u00fd politik Jou Si-kchun\u00a0prohl\u00e1sil za \u010cecha<\/strong><\/em><\/a>. Ob\u011b ud\u00e1losti d\u011blilo jeden\u00e1ct dn\u00ed, jak jsem u\u017e napsal. To nen\u00ed samo sebou. Tady n\u011bco smrd\u00ed. To u\u017e toti\u017e postr\u00e1d\u00e1 vtip \u00fapln\u011b. Touto fr\u00e1z\u00ed se toti\u017e nazna\u010duje, \u017ee stoj\u00edte za n\u011bk\u00fdm, kdo trp\u00ed \u2013 bu\u010f Berl\u00ed\u0148an\u00e9 za Berl\u00ednskou zd\u00ed nebo \u017did\u00e9 za holokaustu nebo p\u0159i ost\u0159elov\u00e1n\u00ed z Gazy, ale \u010d\u00edm trp\u00ed \u010cech, aby se za n\u011bj Tchajwanec tak ostentativn\u011b stav\u011bl? Nebo v\u00ed Tchajwanec n\u011bco, co mi nev\u00edme? Nebo t\u00edm chce vyj\u00e1d\u0159it sympatie k Fialovi, kter\u00fd hrdinn\u011b vede svoji v\u00e1lku s Putinem? Mysl\u00ed si Tchajwanec, \u017ee jsme v\u0161ichni n\u00e1rod slo\u017een\u00fd z Fial\u016f a \u017ee v\u0161ichni svorn\u011b nen\u00e1vid\u00edme Rusa a chceme zato\u010dit s jeho prezidentem? T\u0159eba to na n\u00e1s oce\u0148uje \u2013 jak mor\u00e1ln\u00ed, slu\u0161n\u00fd a \u0161lechetn\u00fd, udatn\u00fd je ten mal\u00fd n\u00e1rod\u2026 Nev\u00edme a nech\u00e1m to na \u00favah\u00e1ch ct\u011bn\u00e9ho \u010dten\u00e1\u0159e\u2026<\/p>\n

Nakl\u00e1da\u010dka t\u0159et\u00ed<\/strong>\u00a0je hodn\u011b kysel\u00e1. To znamen\u00e1, \u017ee se v\u00e1m p\u0159i jej\u00ed konzumaci zkrout\u00ed obli\u010dej. Pokud v\u00e1m ta p\u0159edchoz\u00ed p\u0159i\u0161la je\u0161t\u011b sladkokysel\u00e1 (to je p\u0159ece hezk\u00e9, \u017ee se p\u0159edstavitel mal\u00e9ho asijsk\u00e9ho n\u00e1roda zast\u00e1v\u00e1 \u010cech\u016f), p\u0159i t\u00e9to t\u0159et\u00ed nakl\u00e1da\u010dce se budete po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b ksichtit. Pozn\u00e1te toti\u017e, \u017ee Tchajwanec si \u010cech\u016f nijak extra nev\u00e1\u017e\u00ed, on pouze vrac\u00ed \u201elaskavost\u201c. O co jde? D\u0159\u00edve, ne\u017e byl Tchajwanec v \u010cech\u00e1ch, byl Vystr\u010dil na Tchajwanu. V\u00edme, \u017ee? Pamatujeme si to. Jel tam provokovat \u010c\u00ednu a kdesi cosi. A v tamn\u00edm projevu \u0159ekl v\u011btu, za kterou mu aplaudovali Tchajwanci i\u00a0Financial Times<\/em>. No, h\u00e1dejte, jakou. M\u016f\u017eete t\u0159ikr\u00e1t.\u00a0\u201eJsem Tchajwanec,\u201c \u0159ekl Vystr\u010dil<\/strong><\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mal\u00e1 rekapitulace<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 m\u00e1me prezidenta, kter\u00fd je \u017didem, p\u0159edsedu Sen\u00e1tu, kter\u00fd je Tchajwancem a p\u0159edsedu vl\u00e1dy, kter\u00fd je nejsp\u00ed\u0161e Ukrajincem. Pravda \u2013 Petr Fiala je\u0161t\u011b ot\u0159epanou Kennedyho parafr\u00e1zi ve vztahu k Ukrajin\u011b sice ne\u0159ekl, ale jakoby se stalo. Pro Ukrajince mak\u00e1 v\u00edc ne\u017e pro \u010cechy a v\u0161ichni v\u00edme, \u017ee je to sp\u00ed\u0161e jejich premi\u00e9r, ne\u017e n\u00e1\u0161. Podle mne je jen ot\u00e1zkou \u010dasu, kdy Petr Fiala prohl\u00e1s\u00ed, \u017ee je Ukrajincem\u2026 A vlastn\u011b to ani nen\u00ed pot\u0159eba, proto\u017ee to za n\u011bj \u0159ekl Volo\u010fa Zelensk\u00fd, kdy\u017e byl v telemost\u011b v Praze letos na ja\u0159e. I Fiala tam tehdy na tom p\u00f3diu st\u00e1l.\u00a0Vy v\u0161ichni jste Ukrajinci<\/strong><\/em>, \u0159ekl tehdy a op\u011bt parafr\u00e1zoval zn\u00e1m\u00fd v\u00fdrok Kennedyho. Jen se n\u00e1s neptal, zda s t\u00edm souhlas\u00edme. V\u0161echny n\u00e1s \u0161mahem ozna\u010dil za Ukrajince \u2013 a hotovo. Je nalo\u017eeno, m\u016f\u017eeme zav\u00e1\u0159et. Nebo sp\u00ed\u0161e \u2013 m\u00e1me zava\u0159eno. Pokud my jsme Ukrajinci, je s n\u00e1mi Amen, a\u017e na n\u00e1s vlet\u00ed Rus. Asi proto s n\u00e1mi proz\u00edrav\u011b dop\u0159edu souc\u00edtil tchajwanec, v\u011bda, \u017ee budeme za svoji odvahu pykat jako Hus na hranici\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Ale poj\u010fme d\u00e1le v na\u0161em ochutn\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed okurek. A dost u\u017e nakl\u00e1da\u010dek, te\u010f d\u00e1me n\u011bjak\u00e9\u00a0hadovky<\/strong>. Po\u0159\u00e1dn\u00e9, dlouh\u00e9, a z jejich od\u0159ezk\u016f si m\u016f\u017eete vytvo\u0159it ozdravnou k\u00faru pro k\u016f\u017ei na obli\u010deji. Jako Vystr\u010dil. Vystr\u010dil toti\u017e nen\u00ed jako Zeman, kter\u00fd m\u00e1 v\u0161e promy\u0161len\u00e9 a sv\u016fj v\u00fdrok o tom, \u017ee je \u017didem (alespo\u0148 ten prvn\u00ed), ur\u010dit\u011b dlouho vym\u00fd\u0161lel a prom\u00fd\u0161lel. Vystr\u010dil o tom sice tak\u00e9 dlouho p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161lel, ale v\u016fbec to nebylo z jeho hlavy. Prost\u011b mu to poradili a jemu se to zal\u00edbilo \u2013 jako\u017ee ten jeho projev bude sv\u011btovej. A v\u00edte, jak to v\u00edm?\u00a0No v\u017edy\u0165 to psali na\u00a0SeznamZpr\u00e1vy<\/em><\/strong><\/a>. Tam se toti\u017e m\u016f\u017eeme dozv\u011bd\u011bt, \u017ee si Milo\u0161 (ne Zeman, ale Vystr\u010dil) na dva dny zru\u0161il program, aby mohl ps\u00e1t \u201ez\u00e1sadn\u00ed projev\u201c. A po\u017e\u00e1dal hned t\u0159i kolegy, aby mu s t\u00edm p\u00edchli. A aby to byl sv\u011btovej projev, tak prej, a\u0165 mu tam hod\u011bj hl\u00e1\u0161ky z t\u011bch nejlep\u0161\u00edch sv\u011btovejch projev\u016f.<\/p>\n

\u201ePro inspiraci jsem koleg\u016fm zadal, a\u0165 mi vyt\u00e1hnou legend\u00e1rn\u00ed cit\u00e1ty z patn\u00e1cti nejslavn\u011bj\u0161\u00edch sv\u011btov\u00fdch projev\u016f,\u201c \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 Vystr\u010dil.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jak to dopadlo, v\u00edme. Konkurence byla velk\u00e1, ale nakonec to nebyly\u00a0\u201ekrev, pot a slzy\u201c<\/em>\u00a0ani\u00a0\u201em\u00e1m sen\u201c<\/em>, ale\u00a0\u201ejsem Berl\u00ed\u0148an\u201c<\/em>. A v tu chv\u00edli Milo\u0161e osv\u00edtil duch svat\u00fd a bylo to venku. Tak\u017ee tady to nebylo nijak lo\u017een\u00e9, nalo\u017een\u00e9, zava\u0159en\u00e9 a ule\u017eel\u00e9, tady to bylo takov\u00e9 hrc-frc-prc.\u00a0Vyberte mi n\u011bco, co je hezk\u00fd, co je hodn\u011b sexy, j\u00e1 to tam pou\u017eiju<\/em>. A aby toho nebylo m\u00e1lo, Milo\u0161 se dokonce sv\u00e9ho n\u00e1padu s\u00e1m zalekl a je\u0161t\u011b se koleg\u016f ptal, jestli nep\u0159est\u0159elil.<\/p>\n

Prvn\u00ed n\u00e1vrh projevu pak poslal tajemn\u00edkovi Kostkovi a mluv\u010d\u00ed Nguyen s dotazem, jestli v\u00fdrok \u201ejsem Tchajwanec\u201c u\u017e p\u0159ece jen nen\u00ed moc. \u201eOba jsme mu hned nad\u0161en\u011b \u0159ekli, \u017ee se n\u00e1m ten n\u00e1pad l\u00edb\u00ed a \u017ee to je trefn\u00e1 pointa projevu,\u201c vypr\u00e1v\u00ed kancl\u00e9\u0159 Kostka.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hele, vole, to je dobr\u00fd, to tam nech, z toho se poprd\u011bj Tchajwanci i \u010c\u00ed\u0148ani\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Tak\u017ee proto ta hadovka. Tak trochu vylep\u0161en\u00ed face-liftu. Vystr\u010dil si na \u010delo a na tv\u00e1\u0159e nalepil \u0161lupky z okurek, aby se medi\u00e1ln\u011b vylep\u0161il. V hlav\u011b nic, konceptu\u00e1ln\u011b tup\u00fd, ale kdy\u017e ve spr\u00e1vn\u00fd okam\u017eik \u0159ekne spr\u00e1vnou hl\u00e1\u0161ku, t\u0159eba to zabere. Zabralo. Tchajwanci tleskali vestoje, \u010desk\u00e1 liber\u00e1ln\u00ed m\u00e9dia pochvalovala, Vystr\u010dil se dmul a u\u017eil si sv\u00fdch p\u011bt minut sl\u00e1vy. A je\u0161t\u011b mu to Tchajwanec po p\u00e1r letech letos oplatil \u2013 \u017ee je pr\u00fd \u010cechem. Tak\u017ee\u00a0rekapitulace \u010d\u00edslo dv\u011b:<\/strong>\u00a0Tchajwanec ne\u0159ekl slavnou parafr\u00e1zi Kennedyho v\u00fdroku proto, \u017ee by si \u010cech\u016f v\u00e1\u017eil, ale \u017ee to prost\u011b \u201evr\u00e1til\u201c Vystr\u010dilovi. Vr\u00e1til mu laskavost.<\/p>\n

Aby tento ned\u011bln\u00edk nebyl p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 dlouh\u00fd, vynech\u00e1me na\u0161e b\u00e1d\u00e1n\u00ed na t\u00e9ma, k\u00fdm se prohl\u00e1sil \u010desk\u00fd p\u0159edseda Sn\u011bmovny, ale kdy\u017e v\u00edme, \u017ee j\u00edm je Adamov\u00e1-Pekarov\u00e1, ani moc p\u00e1trat nemus\u00edme. Tam je to dan\u00e9. Ta se zase r\u00e1da nech\u00e1v\u00e1 fotit s vlajkami ciz\u00edch st\u00e1t\u016f, \u010d\u00edm\u017e \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 tot\u00e9\u017e. Po internetu koluj\u00ed vtipn\u00e9 kol\u00e1\u017ee z fotografi\u00ed, kdy p\u00f3zuje tu s vlajkou Izraele, tu Tibetu, tu homosexu\u00e1l\u016f, tu Ukrajiny \u2013 no prost\u011b klasika\u2026<\/p>\n

Tak\u017ee rekapitulace \u010d\u00edslo t\u0159i<\/strong>. M\u00e1me prezidenta \u017dida, p\u0159edsedu Sen\u00e1tu Tchajwance, premi\u00e9ra Ukrajince a p\u0159edsedkyni Sn\u011bmovny, kter\u00e1 \u2013 p\u011bkn\u011b progresivn\u011b \u2013 nem\u00e1 jen jednu identitu, ale hned n\u011bkolik \u2013 je Ukrajinkou, Tibe\u0165ankou, \u017didovkou, lesbou, no prost\u011b v\u0161\u00edm, co v\u00e1s napadne. Tchajwankou jist\u011b taky.<\/p>\n

A m\u016f\u017eeme se t\u011bm na\u0161im politik\u016fm divit? Je to trapn\u00e9, k\u00fd\u010dovit\u00e9 a ohran\u00e9, ale furt to zab\u00edr\u00e1. M\u00e9dia to miluj\u00ed a jejich konzumenti takt\u00e9\u017e. A je to tak i v zahrani\u010d\u00ed \u2013 vzpome\u0148me jen na\u00a0Je suis\u2026<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0J\u00e1 jsem to a to. Za\u010dalo to\u00a0\u201eJe suis Charlie\u201c<\/em>\u00a0(v odkaze na Charlie Hebdo), pokra\u010dovalo p\u0159es v\u0161echny mo\u017en\u00e9\u00a0je-suis<\/em>, jak\u00e9 by v\u00e1s kdy napadly, a\u017e po dne\u0161n\u00ed\u00a0\u201eJe suis Ukraine\u201c<\/em>.<\/p>\n

A te\u010f p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed\u00a0okurkov\u00fd sal\u00e1t<\/strong>. V\u0161echno sm\u00edch\u00e1me dohromady a vytvo\u0159\u00edme konspira\u010dn\u00ed teorii. \u201eJe suis Charlie\u201c se za\u010dalo pou\u017e\u00edvat po 7. lednu 2015. Milo\u0161 Zeman sv\u016fj v\u00fdrok o tom, \u017ee je \u017did pronesl 15. b\u0159ezna \u2013 2015. Vypad\u00e1 to, \u017ee i Milo\u0161 Zeman \u201eopisoval\u201c. \u017de nebyl prvn\u00ed\u2026 Ale to u\u017e dnes nikdo nezjist\u00ed a je to vlastn\u011b i jedno.<\/p>\n

Zakon\u010dit bychom mohli snad jen t\u00edm, \u017ee pokud m\u00e1 n\u011bkdo pr\u00e1vo pou\u017e\u00edvat tento v\u00fdrok, pak je to p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm synovec J. F. Kennedyho \u2013 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. A tak\u00e9 ho pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1. Kdy\u017e byl hlavn\u00edm \u0159e\u010dn\u00edkem na ob\u0159\u00ed proticovidov\u00e9 demonstraci v N\u011bmecku v roce 2020, p\u0159esn\u011b toto tam \u0159ekl. Dnes to u\u017e nedohled\u00e1m, ale v\u00edm, \u017ee jsem to poslouchal na videu a utkv\u011blo mi to v pam\u011bti. Tak mi v\u011b\u0159te.<\/p>\n

A to u\u017e je z dne\u0161n\u00edho okurkov\u00e9ho ned\u011bln\u00edku v\u0161e<\/p>\n

m\u011bjte se kr\u00e1sn\u011b a\u2026
\n\u2026z\u016fsta\u0148te \u010cechy \/ Moravany \/ Slezany<\/strong><\/p>\n

Adam B. Barto\u0161<\/em>
\np\u0159edseda N\u00e1rodn\u00ed demokracie<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Toto l\u00e9to nen\u00ed o zpr\u00e1vy nouze, tak\u017ee \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 okurkov\u00e1 sez\u00f3na nehroz\u00ed. Zu\u0159\u00ed v\u00e1lka, inflace, po\u017e\u00e1r…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":679,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[367,29,85],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13038"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13038\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.infokuryr.cz\/n\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}